


In the good times and the Bad.

by LostGirls



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Anger Management, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Childbirth, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Marriage Proposal, One True Pairing, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Platonic Soulmates, Pregnancy, Rehabilitation, Self-Esteem Issues, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-12-26 09:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18279995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostGirls/pseuds/LostGirls
Summary: A look into the lives of Juliantina over the years. The struggles and the triumphs.





	1. Father Figure

**Author's Note:**

> sorry guys. the format of this series has been driving me crazy. I've decided to put everything from the former SNAPSHOTS -JULIANTINA series into this one and continue the one shot look into their lives here. Sorry for the constant re-post.

Juliana worries her ill fated one time debacle with Sergio has ruined her chances at reuniting with Valentina. Panchito steps up giving her something shes never experienced before, fatherly concern.

I'm Never Drinking Again.

 

Lupe stood outside her daughters room door. Juliana had barely left the apartment these days. At first she thought it was lingering trauma from the kidnapping. And maybe that was part of it. But from the sadness in her eyes and the long looks at her cellphone she knew it was Valentina. Although the girls had been relieved to be reunited in the aftermath of Juliana's kidnapping there were lingering issues.

Lupe rested her head against the cool door of her daughters room. She was ashamed of the part she played in those issues. Valentina had more than proved her worth and love for her only child. And all she had done was throw her prejudice and disapproval in their faces. Lupe sighed sadly. She all but threw Sergio in the young girls face and now Juliana was paying for that.

Her daughter deserved the time and space to approach that subject of her free will and from what she gathered Juliana had not reacted positively to a traditional relationship as she hoped. It seemed Sergio was no Valentina. At this point all she could do was try to make up her prior actions and be a supportive parent to her child as she should have been all along. “Juli? are you ok. You need to eat something, its been hours” she said softly at the door.

“No ma, I'm fine.” Juliana said with a muffled reply.

“Juliana por favor” her mother pleaded, her fingers scrapping at the door.

Juliana hugged her pillow tighter. She didn't want to mean but at the moment she just couldn't deal with her mother. She had hoped that she and Val could pick up the pieces but the older girl who once was so fearless was now hesitant and unsure. She was worried about her family and Juliana being in danger. “Ma por favor. Just let me be!” Juliana snapped, eyes stinging with unshed tears.

 

After a few long moments she heard her mother shuffle down the hallway. The brunette squeezed the bridge of her nose and sighed. She couldn't blame Val. They'd made a pacto. And at the first sign of trouble she had broken it and left taller girl alone. Hell, not only had she turned tail and run but she slept with Sergio of all people! One of her friends. Turns out Valentina had really shitty friends. Friends who outed her, ridiculed her and snaked the woman she loved right out from under her all the while apologizing.

The brunette seethed on the inside at the thought of it. Valentina deserved better. And now she had proven she was no different. Was it any wonder she didn't want to try again.

She had meant what she told Val. The sex she had with Sergio was just that... sex. It was nothing to write home about and she had hated it and herself for it. It was all wrong from the beginning. The fact that she had to fucking drink just to get through it should have been her first warning. Where Valentina was gentle, loving and a bit shy, he was arrogant and rough. After that first kiss she couldn't even bring herself to kiss him again.

She'd turn her head and bury her face against his shoulder. Even that was no comfort. No amount of Mezcal could will his body into something soft and tender. Where Valentina left her sore and aching with desire during and after, Juliana only felt a dull empty ache with him.

As much as she longed to explain this to her beautiful Vale the last thing she wanted was to give her images life to torment the older girl. No. So help her God if Val ever took her back she'd show her in kisses and tender touches how much making love to her and having her love meant.

If. that was a big ass IF.

Juliana turned to her side and scrolled through her phone. It was full of pictures of her beautiful ex lover. Valentina without a doubt was the most beautiful thing the brunette had ever seen. She smiled just thinking about her. She was kind with a big heart and so much life. Too much at times.

Juliana chewed her bottom lip closing her eyes. It hurt her to remember the pain and betrayal in those beautiul blue eyes when she asked about Sergio. The brunette wiped a stray tear away. She never wanted to hurt Val. Never! She had just been so lost and afraid and confused. She let other people's opinions get into her head and acted foolishly trying to prove something to herself or them or both. And now she'd probably lost Valentina's trust for good.

“Juli?” it was the soft voice of Panchito. “Can I please come in..just for a moment?” he asked.

“Si” Juliana sighed. For some reason she really trusted him. He was a good guy who cared about her mom and the only adult outside of Guille who supported them. He entered her room quietly, head slightly bowed as the took a seat in the chair across from the bed.

“Your mama is worried. So I guess I'm worried too mija” he said kindly which drew a sad smile from the brunette. She sat up in the bed pillow clutched firmly against her chest. “Valentina?” he asked knowingly.

Juli could only nod her head slowly as tears slowly slipped down her cheeks. “I don't think she's coming back Panchito. I think I really fucked up.” she sniffed, tears started to fall in earnest as her voice trembled.

“Ohh no no Juli” he said moving to her side to wrap an arm around her. “You can't think like that.” he said softly as she leaned into him and began to cry. “eyy, I saw this girl in action. She was like a force of nature, a tornado. She loves you Juliana.” he said lifting her chin with his finger so she could really see him and hear his words. “Her feelings are hurt and she has alot on her plate with her sister and the scandal. Give her time. She'll come around.” he smiled.

Juliana felt like a little kid. El Chino had never once comforted her in anyway and normally this type of affection is something she would have struggled with. But the stress of thinking she was going to die, of never making something of her life or holding Valentina again had caught up to her. She could hear Vals' words in her mind. Let yourself be loved Juliana!

“You really think so?” She sniffed sitting up now, composing herself.

“I know so. Juli she was so worried for you, downright hysterical actually” he chuckled. “She was ready to fight an army to get to you, take down your mama and idiota boy.”

Juliana grimaced at the mention of Sergio.

“Hey everyone makes mistakes Juliana” Panchito reassured her. “Its what you learn from them that is important eh.”

Juliana blew out a frustrated breath, running her fingers over her dark hair. “ I learned I definitely don't want to have sex with another man as long as a live.” she rolled her eyes. “Only Valentina” she said without thinking.

A dark blush tinged his neck as he fidgeted on the bed.

“Pardon” Juliana said before they both ducked their heads embarrassed and laughed. It felt good to laugh.

He stood from the bed still chuckling to himself. “I'm happy you're sure of yourself now Juli. And I'm sure in time Val will be more than happy to hear she's the only object of your....affection” he teased.

“Get out” Juliana grinned as she through her pillow at him.

“Ok Ok” he threw his hands up in surrender.

“Panchito.” She called as he opened the door. “Gracias... for real.” she said earnestly.

He nodded and stepped out the door to a smirking Lupe standing against the wall with a raised eyebrow. “Well I guess I'll have to really marry you now that you've got my daughter on your side huh” she teased.

Looking sheepish Panchito pulled her into a side hug. “That was my plan all along.”

The hugged tightly as they proceeded down the hall. “She'll be ok?” she asked still a little worried.

“I think so Lupe. Those two are meant to be. And Valentina loves her. She's come around and before you know it you'll be fitting Juliana for her wedding dress!” he laughed at her wide eyed look.

“Oyy por favor... one step at a time eh” she smiled softly.

 

Fin


	2. Its not ok. Not ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things play out differently when Lucho discovers Valentina with Juliana. Juliana's temper gets the best of her.

Things were going so well. They finally had a place where they could just be together. Valle was a beautiful home, estate really and Juliana couldn’t wait to explore with her love. But that was before Lucho. There was a storm on the horizon and Juliana knew the peace she hoped to find in Valentina would be short lived. The brunette tucked a strand of hair behind Val’s ear as she sleep, finally able to rest after the days stressful events.

The younger girl curled her body as a protector around the youngest Carvajal, her arm wrapping around her waist. She touched their foreheads together and let her body melt into the king sized bed. At moments like these she doubted if Valentina really knew just how beautiful she found her. Even in her sleep her perfect bow shaped mouth held a small pout, just begging Juliana to kiss it away. When they were this close, Juls would watch her breath and fall more deeply in love than she knew possible. Valentina was literally an angel in her eyes. Even though she knew her girlfriend would scoff at that. Juliana frowned to herself. Where they girlfriends?

A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. Now who was the fast mover huh? It was a good question. They acted like they were. Even she recognized that and this was before they ever kissed. It reality. And Juliana was a realist. This is was the problem that led to the predicament they were in now. It was more than likely what drove that bastard Lucho to be so aggressive today. Not that she would ever. EVER. Say those words to Valentina. Never!

She pulled Valentina closer to her body as her mind drifted back a few hours. No. there would be no excuse given Lucho. Regardless of the shock of finding his ex in the arms of another woman. She’d never forgive him for hurting Val. The brunette swallowed hard as her dark eyes turned darker. Valentina would never believe it but Juliana knew someone deep down she was part El Chino. And it scared it. Today. She’s been ready to kill Lucho without one hint of remorse. She shook her head slightly against the pillow before rubbing her free hand not holding the taller girl across her face.

Earlier

 

“Lucho!, No!” Valentina gasped as the door was pushed opened with such force she stumbled back. Juliana immediately moved to her side but the taller girl placed herself firmly between her and an enraged Lucho.

“This! This little bitch is the one you’ve been seeing all this time!” He shouted grabbing her painfully by arms. There was yelling then.

Shouting.

“I’m glad your father’s dead!” he yelled repeating, spit flying in a terrified Valentina’s face. Sergio was trying to pulling him off. And then his hand flew out and all Juliana saw was red. Valentina’s head snapping back and her body fell to the floor.

“Val NO!” the brunette screamed charging him. Now obviously Juliana knew there was nothing she would do alone to put a dent in that tornado of rage. But there was no way she’s let that asshole put a hand on the woman she loved while she still had breath.

“You fucking bitch! How could you do this to me!” Lucho screamed as he kicked at the fallen girl.

“Get the fuck off her!” Sergio shouted snatching the taller man by neck and flinging him into the wall. In that moment Juliana appeared rushing past Valentina to swing her foot with all her might directly at that assholes balls.

Lucho crumbled immediately and Sergio even stepped back from the rage swirling in the brunette’s eyes.

“You fucking piece of shit. I’ll kill you!” the younger girl erupted. Juliana didn’t know where all the pent up anger and strength came but she literally kicked the shit out of the man. Fist were balled, hair tousled wilding as she swung her foot at this abdomen and face. Just the way she’d seen her father do from time to time.

Everything was anger and darkness and when she came to her senses she realized she was being held back by soft arms. Valentina was whispering against her cheek in a a pleading tone. “ Tranquila mi amor. Por favor. Shh… Tranquila.”

Juliana didn’t realize her face was wet with tears and she shook with anger in Vals’ arm. “Shhh Juliana. Perdon, Perdon “ she sobbed against the brunette. “This is my fault.”

Juliana jolted to her senses, pulling back. She scanned the area and noticed there was no Sergio or Lucho thank god. Rising slowly. She held her lover closely. “Shhhh Carina. This is not your fault. Never.” she kissed her softly. They both had tears falling down their faces.

“Babe, Mirame...por favor Val.” she entreated. Her thumbs gently brushing across a bruised cheek. Juls sucked in a breath. That was gonna be bruise for sure. “What happened was all Lucho. He doesn’t have the right to come in here and slap you around. Do you understand?”

Valentina shuddered her body still shaking. Her eyes were so blue and wet. Juliana could help but place a chaste kiss on her lips, the tip of her nose and finally her forehead. “This is never OK. Understand.”

Val nodded quietly.

“Let me take care you.” Juliana said softly.

“I think I need a drink.” She breathed out. Her eyes darted around nervously. “This isn’t over Juliana. It’s not.”

“Hey. I know.” the brunette sighed. “But Val, drinking won’t make it better” she said gently. Valentina eyes were downcast guiltily.

“It’s what I know to do” Val finally admitted, as she walked over and sat on the couch, her fingers bothering the upholstery.

“I know.” Juliana said gently her finger traced the side of Va’s face down to chin. “But I’m here with you. For you. “ she added.” You’re not alone. Let me love you.” she smiled at the callback.

Valentina reluctantly smiled at the memory and allowed herself to be cared for. No drink.

 

Juliana sighed closing her tired eyes. It had been a long day. She’d put ice on Val’s cheek and wrapped her ribs only after the girl flat out refused to go see a doctor. They both knew the hell to pay if Valentina Carvajal showed up in the ER looking battered. The press would have a field day and Eva would lose her shit.

So they stayed at the house and sent Alirio back with instructions to return tomorrow after lunch. Juliana cooked and coaxed a worried Valentina into eating. They’d slow danced to music and sat up that night wrapped in each others arms by the fire telling tells of their upcoming.

It was while they were lying on the couch, Valentina’s head resting against Juliana’s chest that the older girl said quietly. “I thought you were going to kill him honestly. And it would have been all my fault.”

Juliana’s hand stilled where it’d been rubbing her back gently. “Eh, mirame Val.” she said waiting for her girlfriend to meet her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. “Nothing is your fault ok.”

“But”

“No but’s Valentina. My actions are my own. I think the thing that scares me most is that I could care less what happens to him when it comes to you. I just… I lost it and it scares me” the brunette admitted. “Who knows what I’m capable of” she whispered that last part.

Valentina was moving up her body in a flash, both hands holding Juliana’s face reverently. “You are capable of great things mi amor. Your talent and your brilliant mind are going to go far places.” she said softly.  
Juliana’s face was like a child looking for validation. Her dark eyes sparkling with unshed tears. No one ever made her feel this way before.

“I was raised around violence” she breathed out shakily, taking both her hands to wrap gently around Valentina’s wrist where she held her face in her hands. “I don’t ever want that to touch you.” she shook her head as tear fell.

“Juli!” Valentina implored. “Carina no! It never will. That’s not you. You are not El Chino or Lucho.” the older woman said emotion thick in her voice. “You’re were protecting me amor. That’s all. And I appreciate it because I’m sure that Lucho was planning on putting me in the hospital if I was luckily” she said shakily.

“No Val. I’d never let that happen.” Juliana said bringing their heads together.

“And would you ever slap me, or punch me or push me around?” Valentina asked pointedly.  
Juliana drew back fixing her with a firm look. “Never.

“Because you’re not your father. Say it.” she smiled softly, fingers gently running through Juliana’s dark hair.

“I’m not El Chino.” the brunette whispered.

“Louder Juliana and mean it and know it in your soul amor. Like I know it” she ended with a small kiss on Juliana’s mouth.

“I’m not El Chino. I’m not my father. And I never will be.” Juliana said with conviction.

 

Juliana smiled as Valentina nuzzled into her neck a soft snore escaping her. It was still dark out. The younger was uncertain of what the future held. She only hoped that it entailed her holding Valentina as close as she could to her heart.

tbc


	3. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Valentina asks for space. Val is feeling isolated and in a bad space. Her demons get the best of her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dark look into after Lucho's death and the aftermath of Sergio's and Juliana's one night stand. Valentina spirals into depression exacerbated by alcohol dependency.

Sick

It’s been a hell of day. Valentina feels as if her chest is about to cave in from the weariness of it all. She’s so sick and tired of people dying or leaving her. Everything used to be so bright. Her life had a airiness to it. Now it feels heavy. Constipated even. There is no joy or hope of anything being ok again. Lucho is dead. Her father is dead. Guille is gone. Eva is a hateful bitch. And Juliana.

Fuck!

Valentina had retreated a far as into her shower now. She sat on the floor in expensive faded blue jeans, the shirt Juliana had made for her and her leather jacket. Her hair was still immaculately falling around her heart shaped face in long tendrils of loose curls. Her eyes were watery and fatigued, blues fading like watercolors on paper. The near empty bottle of Mezcal sat delicately against her fingers between her outstretched legs. She was finishing off the last of two bottles but she still had half empty bottle of gin to her side. Not really her taste but at the moment she found she needed more.

More.

It seemed regular partying and drinking down her dad’s good stuff were not enough lately. Not enough to slow the free fall. Val sniffed rubbing her nose head lolling to the side. She was three sheets to wind. The only reason she hadn’t left the bathroom was because she literally couldn’t. She was floating.

Si’ floating. Like balloons.

No. like Juliana learning to float in her arms.

“ Well that hurt” she said to herself. She was well aware she was talking out loud. Yeah it hurt to think of the dark haired minx that invaded her life one afternoon. It happened so fast and yet so slowly. Everyday they spent together she felt herself falling more and more in love with her friend. It was the most terrifying thing she’d ever felt. And the most exhilarating.

It was a high she never knew she had been chasing. Una conexion. But that connection was gone. Her head tilted back against the cool tiles. Her eyes was dark like the ocean during a storm. Juls was her beacon or lighthouse. She felt less lost when they were together. She felt safe. And god knows she tried to give that feeling back. There was nothing she wouldn’t have done for Juliana.

Valentina didn’t bother wiping the hot tears that fell down her flushed cheeks. She took the final swig of Mezcal before rolling it onto the floor away from her.

“It's wasn’t enough because I’m not enough” she sighed miserably. She had been ready to fight everyone for her. Her family, fake friends, the public scrutiny. She was ready. She knew what she had in Juliana. A diamond in the rough. The brunette chuckled to herself. “Like Aladdin, my princess charming.”

Val sighed feeling very lethargic, she blinked her eyes a few times to clear her head. As If. “You’re no princess Jasmine Valentina” she thought. Hell you're not even a Kardashian. At least they can make money. What can you do? Eh? What can you offer Juliana except your father’s money that she already said she doesn’t want.

The voice was louder and more insistent.

Valentina was spirling deeper into nothing. She was suddenly very aware that she was in the same bathroom she’d made love with Juliana in. But now the ghost of that encounter seem to taunt her. “Well it couldn’t have been that great, it took Juliana all of two minutes to fuck Sergio eh chicquita”

Valentina closed her eyes trying to remember the earnest look in those delicious dark eyes of Julianas. “I didn’t like it. It was nothing compared to what I felt with you”

Juls wouldn’t lie. She never lied. She was always honest to her.

But she broke their promise. She ran. You were ready to fight and she ran. And then there was nothing to fight for. Val slumped against tiles. At the end of the day she ran away into the arm of her childhood friend.

Ex childhood friend. “I may not be enough but maybe Sergio will be” she thought bitterly.

Her fingers twisted with the top to the smaller bottle of gin, before tossing it back. It sent a jolt to her system like a spark on a conduit. She trembled. Yeah she felt that.

Sergio.

Pinche bastardo.

Valentina let out a shaky breath. It seemed hard to do that all of a sudden. She felt overheated. All she could see was angry faces. Eva telling her she was confused and would ruin the family. Her friends at school taunting her and laughing not even behind her back. The message boards on the internet. Lucho so damn angry he hurt her. The contempt on Lupita’s face. She was so ready to let some idiot boy she never met be everything for her daughter. As if Valentina was some disgusting thing leading her child to certain damnation or whatever.

“Fuck you Lupe!” she shouted and it echoed back at her in the small space. Valentina covered her ears as if someone had let an alarm off right next her. Her body seemed to be shaking more. The bottle clambered to the floor and she barely noticed. “Fuck You Eva!” she picked the Mezcal bottle and threw it. She barely heard the shatter it made against the tiles.

“Fuck ...fu fuck Every..thing. Every. One.

“No more fighting for me” she slurred as her eyes fell shut and darkness seem to envelope the light she used to carry within her.

 

The darkness didn’t allow her to hear her name being screamed. Or feel hands cradling her against a slight body. Or cold water falling onto her face and chest. Or hear prayers and the sobbing of her name in that husky american accent she’d fallen in love with.

 

There was nothing.


	4. A hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana deals with the fallout of Valentina's hospitalization.

A Hard Place.

But I, I’d rather fight  
Than lose sleep at night  
At least you're all mine  
And if I have to choose   
My heart or you  
I’m gonna lose

What if nothing ever will change?  
I’m caught between your love and a hard place.

 

Juliana tossed and turned in the cramped chair tucked away in the corner of the quiet room. She was doing her best to be invisible. It was something she had years of practice for because of life with El Chino. In her case it was hardly ever be seen and damn sure never heard. But her quietness tonight was for something far worse and more potentially devastating. It was night three of Valentina’s medically induced coma. They’d given her the medicine to awaken her early that morning but she’d yet to arise.

The brunette finally sighed with frustration and kicked off the thin blanket Lupe had given her before she’d left home to sneak into Valentina’s hospital room for the night. Her presence was hardly a secret. Guilie knew she’d been coming to visit with Val in the evenings. And Jacobo, Leon or worse yet El Chino, (Juliana honestly didn’t know who the man was). He had the good sense to steer clear of her since their last fight over his youngest child.

 

That had been a catastrophe. Juliana had broken down and threw caution to wind breaking her vow to respect Val’s need for space. And thank God she did. As long as she drew breath in her body she would never forget finding Valentina collapsed on the shower floor broken glass all around her. It was something that kept her up with nightmares now.

The dead weight of Valentina unresponsive in her arms. Her flooding them both with cold water trying to keep her somewhat alert. Valentina in and out of consciousness. The brunette shuddered. Never in her life had she been so traumatized and that was saying something living with El Chino.

It was literally too much for her to process which led to her going on instincts. Which were usually fight or flight. She could see what flight had led to. Now she was ready to fight. Ready to fight for the woman she loved. Unfortunately this led to a drop down all out shouting match in the hospital waiting room with Eva and eventually Jacobo or Leon or whatever ...her father’s body.

 

Flash back

“This all her fault!” Eva spat at her viciously. “Valentina would never have ended up in this position if this little opportunist hadn’t seduced her!”

“Basta Eva! Dios mio!” Guillermo shouted back angrily. “You’re blaming everyone and never looking in the mirror!”

Mateo was holding his wife back who looked wildly between Juliana and her brother. “You would agree with ….with this!” she narrowed her eyes. “None of you think of repercussions.”

“Repercussion!” Juliana exploded. Enough was enough. “Didn’t you how your sister would feel with you judging her so harshly, making decisions for her life, accusing her of letting your “dad” down!” Juliana threw a contemptuous look at Jacabo. “No! You only care about your fucking family name!”

“Juliana calmate” Lupe said rushing down the corridor. She and Panchito came as soon as they received the text from the distraught girl.

“Tranquilla everyone!” Jacabo boomed changing a glance at Lupe. It was still weird to be around them all with Chinos’ memories in his head. “This will not help Valentina”

“Oh now you want to help. That's rich!” Juliana ground out. “Are you really Val’s father or are you mine. Because the Chino I know gives no shit for anyone. And if you’re really Vals dad then how the hell have you allowed her to use alcohol as a coping mechanisms all this time!” Juls said eyeing each Carvajal.

“My sister is not a drunk you little bitch!” Eva shouted angrily, blue eyes flashing.

“Hey! Watch your mouth you lil-” Lupe bristled angrily stepping in front her daughter.

“Calmate” Panchito begged everyone.

“For your information. I know exactly what drunk is and valentina needs help before it gets worse!” Juliana said barely containing her contempt for her lovers’ sister. Guile seemed to be considering her words. So she jumped at the chance to continue. “She can’t function under stress without drink. And you all just keep offering it and sleeping pills instead of healthy ways to cope!” Juls said exasperated. “Dos! Two times now she’s almost….for fucks sake you think she’s gonna defy death for a third time!”

Everyone was silent.

Fucking finally.

“Alright yeh. Juliana is right. Val needs help. And we have to get it for her. “ Guillermo said taking control of the situation.

“I agree” Lucia said walking toward them. “I can hear you guys around the corridor. Everyone needs to focus on helping Valentina. Being a actual family and doing what's best. Juliana is right.” she said giving Juliana a slight nod. “She’s lucky to have you. I know how much she loves you.”

End flashback

 

She stood up gingerly stretching out the kinks and knots in her sore body. Yeah that was not her best moment with Val’s family but someone had to stand up to them. She owed Val that much at least. Slowly she made her way to the chair next to bed Valentina lay in. She looked like Sleeping Beauty. Her face was pale and her perfect bow tie lips set softly in a downturn. “At least she is breathing on her own now.” Juls thought morosely. Alcohol poisoning.

Fuckkk

The brunette carefully caressed her face, tracing a finger down the side of her cheek. “Val” she whispered quietly. The gently whirling of machines and beeping of the girls heart monitor the only noise in the room. Juliana swallowed hard at the knot of emotions stuck in her throat. She was desperately trying to be strong for her princess. She wanted to keep her emotions in check so Valentina could feel her and come back. But honestly she was doubting herself. The ever present guilt was eating her alive. And the lack of sleep was getting to her.

“Dios Mio” she wiped a stray tear from her own cheek hastily away. The only time she could sleep was if she were next to Valentina. The worry and the fear that she would show up to the hospital and find an empty bed and no Valentina was worse than being held captive with Chino’s enemies. “Val por favor” Juliana sniffed feeling her lose her resolve. She would beg a God she didn’t believe in if that meant her carina would come back to her. Things could not end like this. Valentina could not leave her.

“Por favor. I need you. Please Val. Just open those beautiful eyes and I know we can get through anything. We have deal, remember?” she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks. Juliana reached over to interlock her pinky finger with Valentina’s. “I know I let you down. I know I hurt you. But I swear. I love you. I promise to do better. To be what you deserve” she cried burying her head against the the older brunette’s stomach.

“You’re already what my sister deserves Juliana” Guille said compassionately. He shut the heavy door quietly behind him. The startled look on Juliana’s face had him put his hands up in defence. “Por favor” he said making his way next to his unconscious sister and her ex.

Juliana relaxed a bit. Valentina loved Guile best and had said he was the only one that was accepting of them as a couple. “What are you doing here” the brunette wiped at her cheeks composing herself.

“Same as you.” he sighed reaching over to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Valentina’s ear. “I didn’t mean to intrude on your time with her. I know Eva and my..well. Jacabo have not made it easy.” He said quietly.

Juls nodded in agreement. No they had not. But in Valentina’s own words. Nothing was gonna keep her from her. Nothing.

“I just couldn’t let you berate yourself. My sister loves you too much and thinks the world of you.” he smiled kindly.

A frown etched on the brunette’s face. “Maybe she did before…” Juliana left the rest in silence.

“You’re a kid Juliana. Of age but still young. You made a mistake. Valentina loves you and lord knows she’s made a few mistakes. We all have.” He sighed scrubbing his face with a large hand. “I should have been there for her instead of running off with Renata. She needed me.”

“Well I should have kept our promise. But as usual the first sign of trouble and I’m ready to run track laps out of the situation” Juliana said darkly. “I get that from my mom. But it’s better than being an abusive asshole I guess” she muttered before realizing technology she was talking about Guile’s father now. “Perdon, Guillermo. You didn’t deserve that.” she said embarrassed she’d let her anger get the best of her again.

“Basta, You have the right to your feelings. You knew the soul that accompanied that body better than anyone. It must be hard to see the body of the man that caused you so much pain be so beloved by us all.” he said reading her perfectly well.

“Val is happy though.” Juls said and left it at that.

“I guess we both think the same. All's right in the world when’s she smiling and being her Valentina self.” he smiled looking over at the sleeping girl.

Juliana yawned.

“You’re exhausted Juliana but I shouldn’t waste my breath telling you to go home and rest eh?”

“No. I’m never leaving her again.” the smaller woman said resolutely.

“I can see why my sister fell for you.” He reached over to pat her shoulder. “At least be comfortable” he said reaching for the blanket Juliana kicked off in the other chair. “Go on” he encouraged. “I’ve told the nurses only to wake you before morning rounds and Eva get here” he grinned mischievously. “I think she can feel you” he added holding the blanket out.

Juliana carefully climbed onto the bed and made herself small as possible pressing her body gently into Valentina’s side. She wrapped her arm around the older girl waist and tucked her head against her chest. All the tension in her body fled at the closeness. Guile covered them in the blanket pressing a kiss to Valentina’s head and to Juliana also.

“Gracias” Juliana whispered. She wasn’t used to acts of kindness. She could see that kindness was a family trait even if it had skipped Eva.

“De nada.” he smiled warmly. “You know. I really think you should take the offer my god mother spoke of. Wait wait wait. Don’t make that face.” Guile smiled. “Por favor. Val and I spoke about this. I know you missed the deadline but you can submit now. I have faith you will get that scholarship. Valentina had faith in you. You can’t give up the dream Juliana” he implored.

“No se” Juliana sighed against the girls chest, unconsciously clutching her closer.

“I know you want to help Val. But she’s looking at a stint in rehab the least Juliana. We both know that. It's going to be hard for her. And she has to do it for herself no matter how much we all want to do this for her. I selfishly want to be able to tell her you’re out here doing your best in school. It's what she really wanted and I know you want that too.” he said exhaling.

“I don’t want her to think I don’t care about her Guile. That Eva was right and I was using her to get a better station in life” the brunette said her voice cracking. She hid her face against Valentina’s still figure. All she wanted was to be here for the woman she loved. Make up past wrongs and show her how much she was willing to fight for them. The way Valentina was that day in the park.

“Ahh Juls. Tanquilla. You’re still going to be apart of her recovery. You have to be. She’s in love with you” he said wisely. “But you can’t be the driving force behind it. It has to be her. I swear I’ll make sure you two are able to be in communication as soon as she ready for that and wants it. You just have to trust that I want what's best for you both. Por favor. Can you trust me” he asked leaning against the door. His face was all kindness and light. It reminding the younger girl of Val.

“Of course” she sniffed feeling the emotions of the subject.

“Good. Now rest. My sister can feel you. I’m sure of it” he smiled before quickly exiting the room.

Juliana tucked herself closer to Valentina moving her arm to rest lightly on the older girls chest fingers just over her heart. “Te amo mi amor. Siempre” she sighed sadly.

Sometimes she wondered how she ended up here. She was the most closed off person she knew. Growing up no one wanted to be friends with the drug dealer's daughter. And the ones that did they were nothing but trouble too. But then Valentina arrived like the sun breaking through a storm on a sea. Clouds began to fade and all Juliana felt was the warmth of her love. She was literally showered in it. With every little touch, smile and act of kindness she found herself breaking her own rules. The walls were tumbling down and she didn’t care.

But now the storm on the water was breaking everything apart. Juliana couldn’t help but feel like she was breaking and in turn breaking Valentina instead of being the thing that was supposed to keep them safe. Val was stronger than people gave her credit for but in a lot of ways she was fragile. She couldn’t cope when the bad things came. At least she couldn’t do it alone.

“We were supposed to be together” Jules swallowed thickly speaking to her love. “I’m sorry I got scared. I thought it all the best. I just didn’t want you to fight...not for me” she sniffed.

Because you don’t believe you're worth it. Not the daughter of El Chino. You can only bring pain. That's all you’ve ever received. What do you know about holding someone up. When all you’ve ever known is how to be beat down.

Juliana didn’t try to stop the hot tears falling down her face. “I’m sorry mi amor. I’m so sorry. Please. Don’t ...just please don’t leave. I love you”

Two things happened at once. She felt a hand brush against her wet cheeks. And then heard a sleepy voice reply.

“ Te amo Juliana. Don’t cry. Where would I go without you” Val said her voice hoarse from unused.

“Carina?” the brunette shot up staring down at her angel. “Valentina!” she gasped throwing herself into her arms fully, tears falling freely. “Val” she choked out.

“Shhh...don’t...shhh. Que pasa?” she exhaled trying to focus her tired eyes. “Shhh amor. Shhh”

Fin

Do I even have a choice when  
I’m gonna have to pick my poison   
Yeah you hurt me so good, it’s so good  
And even when you cause tears  
You’re the one to wipe them away  
Maybe that’s the reason I stay, I stay

But I’d rather fight  
Than lose sleep at night  
At least you’re all mine  
And if I have to choose  
My heart or you  
I’m gonna lose.

Oh I’m caught between your love and a hard place


	5. Let's Stay Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina wakes up. A family feud. Juliana and Val reconnect in the aftermath.

Let’s Stay Together

 

Juliana watched Valentina intently as she stirred from her sleep. It had been a rough day. She’d awakened barely aware of the situation she was in early in the A.M. After calling the nurse in and allowing her to check the girl’s vitals, the smaller brunette was allowed to rejoin the still groggy Val on the bed and ease her back into a peaceful rest. The nurse said it would be a few hours before she awakened fully. 

With the relief of knowing her love was in a better state, Juliana curled her body close to Valentina, wrapping her arm around her waist. She tucked her head against her chest listening to the strong heartbeat and drifted off into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a long time. 

That had been hours ago. Now it was mid-day and Juliana found herself pressed against the back wall of the room, making herself as small as possible. Valentina’s family were all crowded around her bed and the near the couch. The doctors had just left after going over Valentina’s prognosis. But it was the sight of Valentina herself that broke the brunette’s heart. She was lying back in a sitting up position, blue eyes dull. She seemed to be so removed from all of it. She barely made eye contact with anyone, including Juliana. 

Everyone had a opinion. And as usual it was loud and opinionated.

“Why are we wasting our time here. She’s needs to be moved. The press are like rabid dogs pacing for a bone. It's been 4 days” Eva said animatedly her own eyes flashing with impatience.

“Eva. We can’t just take her home.” Guile interrupted calmly. “We need a plan. And Val needs a program.” That seemed to light a spark in the girl as her head jerked up. “Camillo has offered his estate. He and his people run a confidential program”. 

“I don’t need a program.” Valentina said in a whisper. 

“Valentina” Jacabo said gently, moving to sit close to her on the bed. He took her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “Mija, you almost died. Do you realize that.?”

Valentina swallowed and shrugged her shoulders. “It was an accident. I told you that.”

“Like the pool?” Eva interjected flippantly. “How many accidents are you planning on having baby sister.” 

“Eva!” Lucia and Guile shouted at the same time. Juliana fingernails bit into her arms trying to hold herself back from interjecting herself into the conversation. Her eyes stayed on Val watching her every movement. She longed to be over there holding her, pushing her hair out her face so she could lay kisses on her cheek. But for now she had caused enough trouble with them. And she promised her mom to be calm in the situation. 

“I’m not some broken thing you can fix!” Valentina shouted, fire lighting her blue eyes up for the moment. 

“Vale!” Eva gasped, her voice becoming thick with emotion. “We are all here because of you!. You scared us half to death and this is thanks we get.”

“Bullshit!” Valentina swore rubbing her hands through her tousled hair. “The only thing you care about is the Carvajal name! It's why you ran Juliana off,right!” she said motioning towards Juliana whose dark eyes widened at the comment. “Its true. “ 

Val turned her attention to her brother.

“Guille I love you. But just because you’re not getting drunk doesn’t make you better than me. All you do is run away from your problems.” Valentina said lowly, tears falling down her face. “You just left me in that house with her” she sniffed throwing her older sister a contemptuous  
look.

Eva groaned throwing her hands up. “I’m always the bad guy” 

“Val” Guile hung his head, the guilt eating him up. 

“And you?” Val turned to look the man with her ex’s dad’s face in the eye. She pulled her hand from him. “Who the hell are you to tell me what to do. You never had time for anything that wasn’t work when you were...well YOU! And now..look at you. Do you even think about all the hell that body caused Juliana? Or are you just happy to be young and free?” Valentina said with a raised eyebrow. 

“Thats enough!” Lucia said raising her voice for the first time. 

It seemed to catch the younger girl off and she hung her head. “Valentina. You may be right about everything you just said. But it doesn’t matter.” she said firmly. The blonde moved to take Jacabo’s place next to the girl. She gently caressed her cheek. “You are the best thing that happened to this family. And you're slipping away mi amor. Deep down. You know it. And alcohol and pills will not save you. YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOU.” Lucia spoke fiercely cupping Valentina’s face with both hands. 

The brunette began to cry softly. Everyone was silent. Even Eva. Juliana felt like she imposing on a private moment. But she couldn't pull herself away from Valentina when she was clearly on the verge of something. She needed help. Everyone knew it. Juliana wasn’t sure if Val was an alcoholic or just depressed and using alcohol. But she knew if something didn’t change. 

“This is bullshit. You are going to Camillo’s.” Eva said with a cold finality. 

“Eva!!” Guile growled. “She’s a grown woman. Rehab only works if you want it to work.”

“What!” the older sister shrugged. “Why are we treating her with kid gloves!- If it hadn’t been for-” Eva started hands on her hips. Her eyes flickered to Juliana was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest trying to keep her mouth shut for a change. 

“Basta!” Jacabo bellowed. The children quieted under their fathers command. New body or not he was still their dad. Juliana watched as he breathed out a steady breath and calmed himself. He looked over towards her with a sadness in his eyes. He turned his attention back to Valentina was literally withering under the being the cause of all this pain. 

“If it hadn’t been for who?” she asked, her dull blue eyes red rimmed from tears. “What are you all trying so hard not to tell me?”

“Nothing mija” Her father said gently, her caressed her cheek. “ It's just that we found you in a bad state and we want to ensure that doesn’t happen again.”

For the first time since they arrived Juliana spoke. “Do you remember what happened Val?” she asked ignoring the cautious looks from the family. 

Valentina barely glanced at her ex. Her lips trembling and fingers twisting the sheet. “No. I. not really.” she answered in another hushed tone. It seemed all her energy just left her and she slumped down into the pillows turning to her side. 

Juliana had never seen her so lifeless and it scared her to death. Valentina was light that chased away the darkness. She was light footed and hearted in her energetic chaos that was unique to her. And now it felt as if she were drowning right before Juliana's eyes and all her family could do was fight over what the best course of action was. 

Looking at them she didn’t doubt that they all loved her. But they didn’t know her.They didn’t see who she really was underneath all that happiness and life. She was simply the youngest daughter, the baby sister, the party girl with no responsibilities. They didn’t see her pain and how she worked to hide it. And she did hide it well, with loyalty and love. Love that everyone took and took not bothering to see how much was left for Val herself. 

Juliana felt Lucia watching her intently. They gave each other a slight nod. Lucia was different. She was an outsider to the family like Juliana herself. But she saw Val. Maybe they could work together. Even if that meant she had to come in contact with her father’s body. She’d expose herself to those old hurts if it meant helping Val. She’d do anything to protect Valentina. Juliana realized not for the first time that Valentina was literally the love her life. She’d never give up on her again. 

The small brunette thought back to all the times Val supported her, went out of her way to make things ok for her family. And what did she get for love and loyalty. The brunette held herself tighter. Now was not the time to fall apart over her shortcomings. She needed to convince Val to go to Camillo’s program. She knew in her heart the girl needed to put herself and needs first. Not hide away on that estate. 

“Could I speak with Valentina alone por favor?” Juliana said clearing her voice. Her eyes held Val’s surprised ones. “Please” she added quietly. 

Before Eva could interject Guile nodded with a “of course”. He gave his sister a hard look before everyone herded out. Juliana gave Val a small smile as she eased over to her. She sat on the edge of the bed right next to her. Valentina kept her head bowed and it made the younger woman frown. “Mirame carina” she softly lifting Val’s chin with her finger until she could see sad blue eyes. “Don’t look like that” Juliana said softly, her voice thick with emotion. “Please. I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I’m sorry” Valentina sniffed. 

“Val” Juliana said gently moving her hand around the older girls neck. She caressed the skin there and brought their heads together to rest. “ Please don’t be sorry. I only want you to be ok. I was so frightened I’d lost you.” Juliana admitted her lips mere inches from the other’s girls.

Valentina trembled against her. Their eyes met. “I wasn’t trying to hurt myself Juls. I swear. I don’t what happened or why. I was just. I don’t know.” She said as tears fell down her cheeks. 

Juliana moved to place soft kisses on her cheeks, catching each one. “I know. I know.” she hushed. 

Valentina wrapped her arms around Juliana’s waist pulling her closer. “I know I don’t have the right to ask you but can you just hold me?” she said in a small voice.

Juliana pulled back and brought her hands to the brunettes face, her thumbs wiping away tears as they fell. “Val no. You have every right to ask anything from me. And you can.” she said softly, remembering when Val said pretty much the same thing to her in this same hospital.

“But we’re not together Juls. You’re not obligated to be here.” Val huffed out turning her head away from dark piercing eyes. “You don’t have to be here with me out some fear that I’ll hurt myself Juls. I’ll be fine.” the brunette said pulling away from Juliana. 

Juliana could see the walls falling into place with every word. She was well versed in this form of self protection. But she wasn’t about to let Valentina retreat behind them. “Don’t.” she said firmly, cupping Valentina’s cheek. “I wanted us to be us again right after the kidnapping. You know that. “But I respected that you needed space.” her eyes were like dark liquid and Val found she couldn’t look away from the truth in them.

“You still need space. Space to heal and maybe forgive me for hurting you” Juliana said exhaling. “You don’t have to be perfect Valentina. I only want you to be well and come back to me when you’re ready.” she said softly as she drew her nearer to her. She nuzzled Val’s nose lightly before speaking in a hushed tone. “Because I will be waiting for you. And know why?” she asked her lips inches from the older girls. 

“No se” Val whispered afraid to hope.

“Because I love you. Always you. Only you.” Juliana said with so much emotion she could barely get the words out. And then they were kissing, searching for the unspoken truths. Valentina was holding on so tightly to Juliana’s shoulders while Juls used one hand holding tightly against Val’s neck. The push and pull and spark of desire as their tongues touched, pulled and sucked at each other sent a thrill of energy straight throughout Valentina. It was like what she imagined receiving a adrenaline shot would feel like.   
When they pulled apart they breathless and both laughed for the first in a long time at the joy of reconnecting again. Again they rested their foreheads against each other trying to get their breath. 

“I love you too Juliana. So much. I wanna be good for you” Valentina admitted softly words falling against the smaller woman’s lips in a light puff. 

“You are good for me Val. You have no idea how much you give me by just being you. Let me be here for you now. Please. Will you go to Camillo?” Juls asked hopefully.

Valentina pulled back a few inches to look her love in the eyes. “Will you go Revelation?” she grinned. 

“VAL!” Juliana laughed and allowed the older girl to pull her into an embrace against her chest. “Yes Yes okk”

“Bueno. And yes. I’ll go to Camillo’s” she sighed knowing everyone was right. She needed to get to the root of her depression. She had thought it was her father’s “death”. But honestly it was her coping skills. Or lack thereof. She couldn’t continue to use drugs and alcohol to cope. It had to stop. She was better than that. And Juliana definitely deserved better than that. She’d been through it already with an abusive father. Valentina didn’t want to become a new “Chino” in Juliana’s life. She wouldn’t. 

They cuddled on the bed in silence not wanting to break the spell of their reunion. And for the first time in a long time both girls had hope. They knew it would be a long road for each of them. But there was nobody they would rather travel it with than each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These Chapters may seem to be from Juliana's pov but right now I want to look into her head to see what she thinks and how she's processing everything. I love Juliana. She's been through so much. And she takes so much blame on herself. She really does. But I promise as the story goes along we are going to address Juls lack of self esteem and her fears and Valentina will build her up just as Juls and doing for her now. Pinky Promise!


	6. No New Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A time jump. Juliana has a new friend but so does Valentina. Juliana worries about the future now that Valentina is free from rehab.

Ten Weeks Later

 

 

Juliana Valdes sat awkwardly in a large purple plush chair. Her leg was folded under her while the other was dangling haphazardly over the edge of chair, foot brushing against the carpet of the Revelation common room. She chewed lightly on her bottom lip as she looked thoughtfully at her sketch pad. Her brow crinkled as she frowned and erased the last line. “Fuck me” she sighed tossing her pencil down.

“I wish someone would. Perhaps that hot girlfriend who’s not your girlfriend. ” Hernando muttered under his breath from where he sat across from her in his own chair. “Then maybe you’d be more pleasant to be around Valdes.” His eyes were teasing and soft. Juliana narrowed her eyes playfully. 

“Shut up” she sighed flopping back into the chair. Valentina. God just her name on her lips not even said aloud did things to her body. She really missed her girl. And not just the sex. Although yes she desperately missed sex. But it was her idea to take things slow after Val had left rehab. The single dumbest thing to ever come out of her mouth. 

Over the last ten weeks they'd written letters the first few weeks. Eventually Val was allowed a few phone calls a week. They would talk on the phone about Juliana's experiences at the school, her mother's upcoming wedding and few other things. At first Valentina steered away from topics about her rehab and Juliana let her. She knew it was probably intense. But eventually over the last month and a half Juliana met a friend. Hernando Reyes. He was an junior who graded her entry test. Which was a hand made leather jack with azul blue lining on the inside and wonderful hand embroider lines. It was beautiful and ever since then he went out his way to meet the person who crafted it. At first Juliana had been standoffish but he wore her down with is kind spirit and soft brown eyes. It also helped that he was very much gay. Ever since Sergio she had to admit she didn't trust men's motivation. But honestly after the kidnapping and of course life with El Chino it was no wonder she turned out to be interested in women. 

Val seemed to be very happy that Juliana made a friend and asked about Hernando often when they talked. Juliana however was not as happy about Valentina's new friend, Raven Torres. Juliana hadn't met her of course. But Val talked about her a lot. She was Camillo's niece. She was American. She barely spoke Spanish but was helping out at the estate and she and Val had become friends. According to the older girl she was no nonsense and called Val on her shit right away. In fact they were more enemies to start but over time became friends. According to Valentina she reminded her a lot of Juliana but she was just rough around the edges. She just knew that she and Juliana would be great friends. All Juliana heard was she's reminds me of you. Juliana hated feeling jealous. But she was jealous. Also she was horny. She had to admit that to herself. It was been so long since she had been touched by Val and her body was revolting on her. It was making her bitchy according to Hernando. 

Of course during a random phone call with Val she made the mistake of taking the high road and telling the woman she thought they should ease into sex. That they needed to get their footing and maybe dating for a while would be good. IDIOT!

Unfortunately. Val had barely left rehab only to have to travel to New York at Guile's request. He wanted her to think about running a blog for the company. Something she could do in her spare time while she waited to start University in January. So she was in New York getting a tour of one of their smaller holding company's and blogging pictures for Carvajal Media. And of course she couldn't go alone. So Raven went with her. 

And Juliana was jealous. Of course she was. Valentina was in NYC with another girl. 

“Hey! Earth to Juls she’s not walking through that door. Remember” her friend teased her now putting aside his own sketchbook. 

Juliana was pulled from her thoughts shaking her head. She needed to get a grip. 

“I can’t believe you sent her off with another woman to New York City of all places.” Hernando shook his head.

“What was I supposed to say! Don’t go” Juliana huffed angrily. Raven was a touchy subject. Juls felt guilty about feeling so jealous when Val seemed to really like her. As a friend. At least that’s what Val had told her repeatedly, wanting them both to be friends. “But hell! It was hard when Valentina looked like she looked and Raven had been the one with her everyday in Rehab helping her and not me” Juliana thought bitterly. “She’s a family friend Hernando.” Juls said trying her best to keep the bitterness out her voice. 

“Ya I know. I heard you the last ten thousand times over the last 10 weeks.” The dark haired man hummed. He stood and offered his hand to his friend. A woman who quickly was becoming family. “I just think you should have been more honest with her about your feelings Juls.”  
Juliana knew he was right. She looked up her eyes dark as midnight. She started to say something then thought better of it. Opting to take her friends’ hand and allow herself to be pulled to her feet. “Let me take you home. Hopefully your mom has some snacks lying around” he grinned mischievously. He looped Juliana’s arms with his and pulled her along. 

With a sigh she rested her head against the side of his shoulder. 

 

“Its ok to have feelings Juls, to feel angry or jealous. To want to have your not girlfriend all to yourself. “ He added quietly as they walked through the fashion house. As they passed through many of the first years all stopped to say hello or shout their greetings in passing. Juliana was a bit of a celebrity. She was an unknown who seemed to have the magic touch when it came to designs. Juliana still wasn’t used to people being nice to her or even noticing her. The important thing to her was that she had earned her scholarship all on her own. She worked twice as hard to prove she belonged. The past two months passed in a blur. 

“Hola Juliana” a short blond hair girl said cheerfully as she backed out of a room pulling a rack of clothes hanging on hangers. 

“Hola Selene” Juliana smiled. Como estas”

“Bien, pero. Could you check my designs when you get time. I need to ace this next test and my jacket I want to design looks like shit” The young woman said dramatically. “Por favor” she pleaded. 

“Okk okk. Tomorrow though. Hernando and I are done for the day.” Juliana smiled at the relieved look on the blonde. 

“Gracias Juliana. You’re the best!” she said happily as she continued down the hall.

Hernando smiled softly at his friend, pulling her closer to him. “Don’t look so surprised. You’re a good person with big heart and ferocious work ethic. People like you” he bumped her shoulder. “And Valentina loves you. Man is she whipped.” He teased her. 

“Hernando por favor” Juliana whined a slight blush of red dusting her cheeks.

“Hernando por favor” he teased her. “You turn her from the hottest woman I’ve ever seen up close and personal into a literal puppy. She’s a puppy Juls. That's all you.” He laughed, his voice carrying down the hall. 

“Basta!” Juliana laughed, bumping his shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m more offended by, the puppy reference or the fact that you keep commenting on my-”

“Girlfriend” He laughed 

“Friend who happens to be my ex who I want to be my girlfriends.... hotness” she teased him.

“Lucky for you I’m as gay as RuPaul although…” He paused dramatically. “For her I might risk it!” and they both dissolved into a fit of laughter

“HERNANDO!” Juliana shouted pinching his shoulder. It felt good to laugh. It was nice to have a friend and not worry about them secretly trying to fuck you. Juls shook her head as they exited the building. 

 

Later at Lupe/Panchito’s apartment

 

Juliana lay on her bed, es amour playing softly through her room. She pulled out her phone and began to scroll through all the pictures of her and Val. She stopped at one of her new favorites. Valentina had done a few photo shoots now and it seemed the fashion world was just discovering what Juliana had known from the moment she’d laid eyes on her. Valentina Carvajal was a stunningly beautiful woman. 

The picture was focused on her face. Her make up was immaculate and her hair was tied up in a bright multi-colored scarf that brought out the blue in her eyes. She seemed to be looking up at something , lost in it. The picture on screen was saved on Juliana’s phone. She just prayed that if she could make this fashion thing work, one day Val would model her clothing. It was dream she kept to herself. Right now she’d settle for them being official again. She didn’t know how much she really wanted to be Val’s until she wasn’t. 

Although Valentina would say she never stopped being Juliana’s. But the facts spoke for themselves. Juliana had stupidly broken up with her on a damn park bench and went out and decided to give into societal pressure and slept with Sergio. The dark hair girl rolled onto her back and sighed. Her eyes were a storm of conflict. 

They hadn’t talked about anything. Not the night Valentina drank herself unconscious. Not the fact the Juliana had been the one to find her. Nada. And at first that’s the way Juliana wanted it. She just wanted to pretend the conflict and the bad things were over. Val went into rehab and she enrolled into school. Eva’s trial was just about over. And Juliana had kept her distance from Sergio. She knew he was trying to rebuild his friendship with Val and she didn’t think it was her place to interfere anymore than she had. 

Juliana didn’t have friends growing up. So she couldn’t understand the bond that allowed you to forgive them for breaking the bro code as they called it in America. Not that she blamed him more than herself. But she knew that IF she had a friend and they fucked her girl even if they had broken up. There would be no way in hell she’d ever forgive or forget. Which is why somewhere deep down she couldn’t understand why Val was forgiving her. Another thing they needed to talk about. 

Juliana rubbed her temples feeling a headache coming on. She really was trying harder to love herself. It's what Hernando had told her one day. That she needed to be still, accept love and forgive herself. It was like pushing against a mountain and expecting it to move. 

The phone rang-

“Val” Juliana breathed out. She swiped the screen bringing the phone to her cheek. “Chica!! It's about time. I thought I lost you” she said softly. 

“Hola mi amor” Vals voice drifted over her like a cool breeze. “I missed you too.”

“Hey.” Juliana said softly. Suddenly she found she couldn’t speak. She was so happy to hear her. To know she was alive and not gone. An image flashed in the brunette’s mind. 

“Juls. I’m here. Contigo amor” Valentina said in a whisper. Even miles away they were on the same wavelength. “ Lo siento” she breathed into the quiet space of their breathing. 

“No Val. No more apologizing. “ Juliana smiled. “I-I just. Dios! I don’t know what's wrong with me today. Perdon carina” her voice thick with emotion.

“I know baby. I feel the same. I-I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon.” Valentina spoke gently. “I want us talk Juls. Its time. And I -I’ve learned so much about myself since rehab” her voice was hesitant. “I just want us to be on the same footing mi amor. If --if you want that” she ended.

“Of course I do Valentina. I -I just want you baby.” Juliana spoke true. Its was all she wanted.

She could hear the exhale from the other side and it made her smile. How could the girl think she wanted anything else. 

 

TBC.


End file.
